Elements of Desire: An Erotic Lab for Queer Men
Description
Queer men are often experts in reinvention. Many have learned to adapt, read between the lines, seduce with subtlety, protect themselves when necessary, and sometimes disconnect just to get through. In that complexity, sexuality can become both a battleground and a place of play. This weekend invites you to explore sexuality as a way of knowing yourself more deeply and feeling your connection to life more fully. There is more available here: more pleasure, more presence, more freedom — in your hips, your breath, your belly, your no, your yes, your body.
This is a playful, embodied deep dive into what it means to live in a queer male body — cis or transmasculine — with curiosity, courage, and awareness of both society and community. Rather than approaching gender and sexuality from theory alone, the retreat moves from the inside out through guided practices, embodied rituals, and shared reflection.
Together, you’ll explore questions such as:
- Who am I as a man when I stop performing so hard?
- How much of my desire is truly mine, and how much is shaped by performance?
- What would it feel like to inhabit my sexuality without apology — or choreography?
The retreat looks at how shame, culture, trauma, and liberation live in our movement, our fantasies, and our capacity to receive touch. It encourages a move beyond binary thinking into something more fluid, more alive, and more authentic. You’ll be invited to experiment with different ways of relating, touching, and expressing — from tender to wild, sacred to silly.
This is not about being “good at sex.” It is about being honest in sexuality, and perhaps discovering new ways to experience it as medicine, mischief, and art.
Why now? Because queer men continue to carry a great deal, even within spaces of visibility and freedom. Boldness and bruises are often inherited together. While open sexuality may be celebrated in culture, there is still too little room to slow down and feel what it all means in the body. This workshop creates that space for meaning-making through breath, touch, and truth.
Please note: This workshop is designed specifically for those who identify as queer men (cis or trans). It includes partial nudity, guided touch, roleplay, and somatic exploration of gender and sexuality. All activities are optional. The space created together centers safety, sovereignty, and presence, with your agency and comfort prioritized throughout. Consent leads the way. Although touch and sensuality will be explored, no sexual acts of any kind will be instructed or included. There will be no full nudity, and nothing beyond what you enthusiastically consent to.
Recommended Reading: Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas; The ManTantra Letters by Victor Bliss & Nathan James
Learn more about the requirements to receive continuing education credit.
Accommodation Options
Bunk Bed
Designed for shared stays, this room type accommodates four to six guests in a welcoming, gender-inclusive setting, with a maximum stay of seven consecutive days. It’s a practical choice for retreat participants who value comfort, simplicity, and a sense of community during their time away.
Each bunk room includes twin-size bunk beds and a private bathroom with a shower, offering the privacy and convenience guests need throughout their stay. Fresh towels, bath soap, and bed linens are provided, so you can settle in with ease and focus on your experience rather than the details.
With its straightforward layout and thoughtfully provided essentials, this accommodation supports a restful and uncomplicated stay, making it well suited for those looking to share space while still enjoying comfort and functionality.
Standard Shared
Ideal for guests who want a more social stay without the atmosphere of a dorm, this cozy shared room offers a comfortable and practical setup for up to three people of the same gender. The space is arranged with three beds: two on the main floor and one tucked into a sleeping loft, creating a simple, welcoming environment that still feels private and restful.
Each room includes an in-room bathroom with a shower, making daily routines easy and convenient. To help you settle in with ease, towels, bath soap, and bed linens are all provided. Whether you are traveling for a retreat, a wellness stay, or a peaceful getaway with others, this room offers a warm balance of connection, comfort, and simplicity.
Standard Queen
Designed for guests seeking a little extra privacy, this inviting room offers a peaceful place to unwind within the charming, Big Sur-inspired motel atmosphere of the property. Thoughtfully located for convenience, it overlooks the main campus and garden, giving you a calming view to return to throughout your stay.
Inside, you’ll find a private bathroom and a comfortable setting that supports rest, simplicity, and easy access to the wider retreat experience. It’s an ideal choice for solo travelers or couples looking for a quiet, well-situated space to recharge between wellness activities, meals, and moments of relaxation.
If you’d like to share the room, one additional guest may join for an extra $250 per night.
Standard Two Beds
Settle into a relaxed stay surrounded by the charming motel-inspired atmosphere of Big Sur. This Standard Two Double Beds room offers a comfortable, unfussy space designed for easy rest and shared travel. With two double beds and a private bathroom, it is a practical choice for friends, couples, or family members looking to enjoy time together while still having room to unwind.
The room’s simple, welcoming feel makes it easy to slow down after a day of exploring, reconnecting, or simply enjoying a peaceful break. Whether you are traveling for a quiet getaway or a shared adventure, this space provides the comfort and privacy you need for a restful stay.
Teachers
Finn is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor who supports men in exploring growth, connection, and self-understanding in a grounded, respectful setting. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private sessions, he offers practical tools that help participants confront personal limitations, release shame, and open the door to more meaningful human connection. His work is designed to create space for honest reflection and...
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