Preparing for the Dark

A men’s retreat for those sensing a quiet but meaningful turning point as autumn gives way to winter.

As David Whyte writes, “The night will give you a horizon further than you can see.”

What is your soul asking for? What is the one life you can truly call your own?

There are moments when we arrive at a crossroads and can feel the uncertainty of not knowing which way to go. How we meet those moments shapes the next chapter of our lives. Winter becomes a threshold, mystery becomes a language, and darkness offers a way to hear the deeper part of us that already knows.

As the days shorten and nature begins to withdraw, release, and prepare, this seasonal shift invites reflection. For men living through turbulent and uncertain times, it raises important questions: What do I need to let go of? What is calling me forward? What have I not made space for yet?

Preparing for the Dark is for men who feel that something needs to change, even if they cannot yet name what it is. It welcomes those drawn toward a more authentic, alive, and aligned way of being, and those who sense that meeting life’s challenges requires a deeper relationship with themselves.

Led by Oliver Bettany and Alistair Mayor, both experienced guides in men’s work, psychotherapy, and ecopsychology, this retreat offers space to explore the inner landscape so often overlooked in everyday life. Through immersive experiences in nature, you’ll be invited to listen for the wisdom beneath busy thoughts: intuition, dreams, and quiet knowing.

Held on The Dreaming’s 47 acres of Welsh woodland as winter approaches, the retreat is not about forced introspection or emotional catharsis. Instead, it supports a relationship with the deeper currents of life, helping you access a rooted and trustworthy energy for the moments when logic is not enough and the path ahead feels unclear.

Taking place in late November, when darkness arrives early and the year begins to wind down, the four-day programme is designed to connect you with something beyond the thinking mind. Call it soul, intuition, the unconscious, or simply the part of you that knows.

The retreat blends nature connection with creative and symbolic work. You’ll work with fire and earth, spend time alone in the landscape, and engage with poetry and myth that reflect the archetypal patterns shaping men’s lives. These embodied practices open pathways to parts of yourself that may have been ignored or suppressed.

This is preparation in its deepest sense: building inner resources for times of challenge, learning to trust what you know in your bones, and becoming more at home with uncertainty.

This retreat is for you if:

• You sense it may be time for something in your life to shift
• You feel there is more to life than the script you have been following
• You want practices for navigating uncertainty and transition
• You are curious about connecting with something deeper than your thinking mind
• You recognise that intellect and willpower alone are not enough
• You are willing to be uncomfortable in service of something meaningful

No previous experience is needed. Bring only a willingness to show up honestly and engage with whatever arises. Whether you are new to this work or have been on this path for years, you are welcome.

Your Guides

Oliver Bettany and Alistair Mayor are seasoned practitioners in men’s work, nature connection, and rites of passage. They hold spaces that are both adventurous and safe, challenging and nourishing, creating room for men to explore the full range of who they are.

Their approach brings together ancient wisdom and contemporary understanding of men’s development, with the land as a primary teacher.

Ollie is a counsellor, ecopsychologist, teacher, and men’s work leader living on the edge of Dartmoor with his wife and son. Over more than fifteen years as a therapist and activist, he has supported individuals and organisations through profound transition, drawing on humanistic counselling, archetypal psychology, shadow work, and soul work.

He founded Wild Oak CIC and The Wellspring, a men’s mentoring community in South Devon, where he works at the intersection of nature, psyche, and belonging.

Alistair is a father, psychotherapist, dancer, supervisor, trainer, and group facilitator. With over 20 years’ experience, he has worked in substance misuse, with vulnerable young people, and on the “Super Dads” programme for fathers and children.

He teaches therapists and has helped bring many counsellors into the field. Working from a holistic integral perspective, he supports people to grow up, clean up, and wake up, with a focus on real change, embodied awareness, and connection to the land.

Booking Details

Dates: 23rd - 26th November 2026
Check In: 3pm
Check Out: 10am
Location: Rhydoldog House, Rhayader, Wales, LD6 5HB

Pricing is on a sliding scale based on room choice, starting from £651.

What’s Included:

• 3 nights’ luxury accommodation
• All nourishing home-cooked food and drinks
• A beautifully curated retreat programme
• Access to 47 acres of ancient, breathtaking land
• Access to natural plunge pools
• Use of the tranquil home and gardens

The Location

Nestled in the heart of the Elan Valley in Wales, The Dreaming offers a serene and restorative setting, away from the demands of busy work life, whatever the weather.

Set within forty-seven acres of ancient land, this rural property offers a deep sense of stillness. Once a 15th-century Cistercian monastery, it later passed through Georgian and Victorian aristocratic families before being owned by Laura Ashley and her family in the 20th century.

Laura Ashley directed her multinational interior design company from Rhydoldog House. In 2020, founder Charlotte Church and collaborators reimagined, refurbished, and reconfigured the property.

Our Rooms

Each room offers comfort, tranquillity, and modern amenities, with interiors designed by award-winning designers. Natural materials, tactile draping, original floorboards, and textured walls create spaces with a warm and distinctive character.

The shared-room approach reflects The Dreaming’s values, with beds assigned individually rather than by room, encouraging connection among guests.

The Moon
For 2 individuals sharing

Inspired by lunar goddess energy, The Moon is a calming, purifying space with soft white fabrics, luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, a spacious seating area, and an ensuite bathroom with a moon-shaped bath overlooking the Moon Garden. South facing, it looks out over the Elemental garden and the Nant Caethon Valley.

The Mystic
Mixed gender dorm / For 4 individuals sharing / 4 x single beds

This south-facing room includes a private balcony, hand-sewn furnishings made from rich Indian saris, a spacious seating area, and single beds with fabric privacy screens. The ensuite bathroom features a golden tadelakt shower surrounded by botanical plants, with views across the Elemental garden and Nant Caethon Valley.

The Dawn
For 2 individuals sharing

South facing with a balcony, The Dawn offers sunrise-inspired colours, luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, a seating area, rustic pine furniture, and an altar to honour the solar deities. The bathroom is across the hall and includes a Moroccan-inspired tangerine tadelakt shower.

The Mushroom
For 2 individuals sharing

Inspired by mycelium, this south-facing room features rustic natural materials, dark antique wooden furniture, warm neutral tones, a spacious seating area, luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, an ensuite bathroom, and a bath with a view.

The Wanderer
For 3 individuals sharing

Created with natural materials and artefacts from Africa, Peru, and Mexico, this room is designed for explorers. It includes a spacious seating area, luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, an ensuite bathroom with shower and bath, and a window seat overlooking the Elemental garden and Nant Caethon Valley.

Forest Spirits
For 1 individual or couples

North facing and overlooking the ancient woodland, Forest Spirits honours Japanese design and reverence for the forest. It features tatami flooring, a king-size bed, a spacious seating area, and an ensuite bathroom with a black tadelakt shower and porcelain lotus sink.

The Womb
For 2 individuals sharing

North facing toward the deep forests, The Womb offers soft handmade fabrics dyed with natural ingredients, luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, a seating area, and an ensuite bathroom with a pink tadelakt shower.